James in New Orleans asks:
Why are people so rude on the internet?
It happens all the time… Someone posts something somewhere online like Facebook or somewhere, and then all of a sudden, someone comes out of left field, calling that person all sorts of disrespectful names and such.
Well James, there are two reasons for this that I would give you…
The first and more apparent of the two is that the Internet gives us a cover of anonymity. People on the Internet are not necessarily who they say they are. It is easy to speak bluntly when you are not held accountable for what you say, and the Internet provides fertile ground for people just saying whatever they want to say.
Back in the Colonial days, dueling with pistols was a well-accepted part of culture, and was often used as a way of defending one’s honor or to hold another accountable for their actions. Turning down a duel pretty much was the same as pleading ‘guilty’ in a modern court of law and those who did were often shunned after doing so.
At the same time, there are many stories about how people earned credibility and respect for not shooting their opponent after their shot missed, firing into the air when they had a clear shot.
Back then, if a Senator called another Senator an idiot, there was probably going to be a challenge following very quickly thereafter, so people were a lot more careful and diplomatic with their choice of words.
If you watch today’s TV shows, if you’re not rude and out-shouting your opponent, then you lose the debate.
The Internet provides even more cover with it’s anonymous nature.
There’s another reason that is either ignored or just gets skipped over…
Countless studies point out that communication is more about body language, facial expression and voice inflection than it is about the words.
According to these studies, words only count for 7% of our communication.
So we go into discussions on the Internet only getting 7% of one’s intended meaning…
It’s no wonder we see conversations online become fierce very quickly!
Sure, some folks use emoticons or “smilies” to try to inject some emotion, but it still falls short of hearing and seeing the person you are talking with.
Roger has been a client of mine for over half a year. We’ve had an issue with a website that has been continually growing. If you look at the messages that we’ve been sending to each other, you would see two people getting more and more frustrated with the other…
However, we make it a point to talk on the phone with each other. Yes, we hold each other accountable, but it is a simply professional conversation between two friends.
If we left it at just the typed messages, we would only get 7% of the conversation (and we would have a lot of issues brewing)!
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